Bob: "I can't believe this... I'll kill this m***********!"
(phone rings)
Jake: "Hello"
Bob: "Hello Jake!"
Jake: "Oh, hi there Bob! How's it going?"
Bob: "Oh, I'm just fan-f******-tastic, Jake. How are you?"
Jake: "Oh, you know... can't complain"
Bob: "That's just f****** great. Hey, I just spoke to my neighbor that lives across the street from me and he told me that you came by my house today while I was at work."
Jake: "Oh, erm... Yeah, yeah I just popped in there for a few minutes"
Bob: "A few minutes? My neighbor says it was more like 3 hours. So what could you've possibly been doing with my wife in my house for 3 hours?"
Jake: "No no no, look Bob, I erm... I uh..."
Bob: "...cause you see, a guy like me can get suspicious"
Jake: "Listen... huh, I can explain everything, I erm..."
Bob: "Oh, I want you to explain"
Jake: "It's not what you think, erm, I..."
Bob: "Oh, please, Jake, enlighten me, cause I'm really f****** curious to know what you were doing"
Jake: "Look, it's nothing... it's stupid, really, I uh... I went over to your house around 1 o'clock..."
Bob: "Uh-huh..."
Jake: "...and I, uh, I-I, I f***** your wife, and then I left"
Bob: "Really."
Jake: "Really, I swear! I went over, I f***** her a while and after we both came, I just went home"
Bob: "Is my name Forrest Gump, Jake?"
Jake: "Erm... what?"
Bob: "Answer the f****** question, is my name Forrest Gump?"
Jake: "Erm... well, no"
Bob: "So why do you treat me like I'm a f****** r*****? You expect me to believe that you were in my house for 3 hours and all you did was f*** my wife?"
Jake: "Bob, listen, I uh... uh... I came over, she blew me there... uh... for a while... I-I came... so... so we had to wait a bit. Then we had s** in the kitchen for a while, then we had s** in the living room"
Bob: "You're f****** lying to me and I really don't like it, Jake! You were in my house for 3 hours"
Jake: "No, no! It's not... but we... you see we had s** a few times and then she wanted more! She said she was really wet and feeling dirty and she wanted more than one c*** inside of her... so um... so... we-we called your brother to see if he wanted to come over and get in on the action... and-and, he-he-he... he said yes, so we waited around for him for about an hour, that's... that's why it took so long"
Bob: "My brother..."
Jake: "Um-hmmm!"
Bob: "You and my brother double-teamed my wife?"
Jake: "Oh, yeah, yeah! We gave it to her boy! In every hole!"
Bob: "Oh, see that's funny, cause my brother's in Miami this week, Jake. I find it hard to believe that my brother flew all the way out here from Miami to double-team my wife with you."
Jake: "I... well... uuuh..."
Bob: "And you know what the funny thing is? The faucet in my kitchen has been leaking for 3 months now and suddenly today, of all days, it decided to stop leaking. I'll only give you one last chance to answer the question and if you lie, I guarantee you, you're gonna regret it! What were you doing in my house today?"
Jake: "I... I'm sorry... your wife called me... and I... I didn't..."
Bob: "Answer the f****** question!"
Jake: "Your wife wanted me to fix the faucet, cause she couldn't stand the dripping noise anymore! I-I didn't want to do it but she begged me"
Bob: "And what did you do?"
Jake: "I fixed it! I fixed the faucet! I'm so sorry"
Bob: "You m************ c********** piece of s***! You f****** fixed my faucet you backstabbing f***! Now I'm gonna fix your face, you hear me? I'm gonna fix your f****** face! But if you think I'm ever gonna f*** your wife again, forget about it man! Last night was the last time!
Jake: " No... No! Please don't do this!"
Bob: "Never again!"
(phone rings)
Jake: "Hello"
Bob: "Hello Jake!"
Jake: "Oh, hi there Bob! How's it going?"
Bob: "Oh, I'm just fan-f******-tastic, Jake. How are you?"
Jake: "Oh, you know... can't complain"
Bob: "That's just f****** great. Hey, I just spoke to my neighbor that lives across the street from me and he told me that you came by my house today while I was at work."
Jake: "Oh, erm... Yeah, yeah I just popped in there for a few minutes"
Bob: "A few minutes? My neighbor says it was more like 3 hours. So what could you've possibly been doing with my wife in my house for 3 hours?"
Jake: "No no no, look Bob, I erm... I uh..."
Bob: "...cause you see, a guy like me can get suspicious"
Jake: "Listen... huh, I can explain everything, I erm..."
Bob: "Oh, I want you to explain"
Jake: "It's not what you think, erm, I..."
Bob: "Oh, please, Jake, enlighten me, cause I'm really f****** curious to know what you were doing"
Jake: "Look, it's nothing... it's stupid, really, I uh... I went over to your house around 1 o'clock..."
Bob: "Uh-huh..."
Jake: "...and I, uh, I-I, I f***** your wife, and then I left"
Bob: "Really."
Jake: "Really, I swear! I went over, I f***** her a while and after we both came, I just went home"
Bob: "Is my name Forrest Gump, Jake?"
Jake: "Erm... what?"
Bob: "Answer the f****** question, is my name Forrest Gump?"
Jake: "Erm... well, no"
Bob: "So why do you treat me like I'm a f****** r*****? You expect me to believe that you were in my house for 3 hours and all you did was f*** my wife?"
Jake: "Bob, listen, I uh... uh... I came over, she blew me there... uh... for a while... I-I came... so... so we had to wait a bit. Then we had s** in the kitchen for a while, then we had s** in the living room"
Bob: "You're f****** lying to me and I really don't like it, Jake! You were in my house for 3 hours"
Jake: "No, no! It's not... but we... you see we had s** a few times and then she wanted more! She said she was really wet and feeling dirty and she wanted more than one c*** inside of her... so um... so... we-we called your brother to see if he wanted to come over and get in on the action... and-and, he-he-he... he said yes, so we waited around for him for about an hour, that's... that's why it took so long"
Bob: "My brother..."
Jake: "Um-hmmm!"
Bob: "You and my brother double-teamed my wife?"
Jake: "Oh, yeah, yeah! We gave it to her boy! In every hole!"
Bob: "Oh, see that's funny, cause my brother's in Miami this week, Jake. I find it hard to believe that my brother flew all the way out here from Miami to double-team my wife with you."
Jake: "I... well... uuuh..."
Bob: "And you know what the funny thing is? The faucet in my kitchen has been leaking for 3 months now and suddenly today, of all days, it decided to stop leaking. I'll only give you one last chance to answer the question and if you lie, I guarantee you, you're gonna regret it! What were you doing in my house today?"
Jake: "I... I'm sorry... your wife called me... and I... I didn't..."
Bob: "Answer the f****** question!"
Jake: "Your wife wanted me to fix the faucet, cause she couldn't stand the dripping noise anymore! I-I didn't want to do it but she begged me"
Bob: "And what did you do?"
Jake: "I fixed it! I fixed the faucet! I'm so sorry"
Bob: "You m************ c********** piece of s***! You f****** fixed my faucet you backstabbing f***! Now I'm gonna fix your face, you hear me? I'm gonna fix your f****** face! But if you think I'm ever gonna f*** your wife again, forget about it man! Last night was the last time!
Jake: " No... No! Please don't do this!"
Bob: "Never again!"