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Everyday Normal Guy Lyrics

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And my s**ual performances are average
I work at customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save this s*** is off the hook

And i am not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
last time I had s** was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once a month Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see the dentist
I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a f****** STD

if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough
Steve: "You want some of this b****?"

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
and if you got a bad back put your hands up

Jon: "I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it's just not the same... you know it... it gets... It gets pretty sore"

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
My parents are really nice people Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I like the show "Greys Anatomy" Mother f****
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I am pretty good at making paper planes
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