Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
Then rip your eyes out so you cannot see
I was feeling down and dejected
And every day felt more like a curse
Then I thought about the horror
That sleeps deep beneath the waters
And remembered it could get much worse
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
So just how big a friend is Cthulhu?
He's unlike any friend you've ever known
Though he's bigger than a house, he's as quiet as a mouse
Till he comes the rip the flesh right from your bones
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
Now deep within his house at R'lyeh
Dead Cthulhu dreams while waiting for the hour
When he'll rise out of the brine, and come forth to crush your spine
As he shambles forth to show the world his pow'r
Now people, everybody testify before Cthulhu!
girl: I just broke up with my cheating slimeball husband, and I'm waiting for Cthulhu to come back and fix him and his lousy, no good...
guy: Well, actually I didn't used to be able to walk. But, now I can... RUN!!!!
He'll fix all of your problems in a heartbeat
Even if your life's a total mess
Both your mortgage and divorce
Will be washed away of course
With whatever you still owe the IRS
So if you can make friends with Cthulhu
He's the antithesis of all life (he thinks we're scum)
If you see him you'll go deaf
Right before you lose your breath
And cut your ears off with a carving knife
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally (no not at all)
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll gouge your eyes out so you cannot
Tear your eyes out so you cannot
Rip your eyes out so you cannot see
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
Then rip your eyes out so you cannot see
I was feeling down and dejected
And every day felt more like a curse
Then I thought about the horror
That sleeps deep beneath the waters
And remembered it could get much worse
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
So just how big a friend is Cthulhu?
He's unlike any friend you've ever known
Though he's bigger than a house, he's as quiet as a mouse
Till he comes the rip the flesh right from your bones
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll rip your eyes out so you cannot see
Now deep within his house at R'lyeh
Dead Cthulhu dreams while waiting for the hour
When he'll rise out of the brine, and come forth to crush your spine
As he shambles forth to show the world his pow'r
Now people, everybody testify before Cthulhu!
girl: I just broke up with my cheating slimeball husband, and I'm waiting for Cthulhu to come back and fix him and his lousy, no good...
guy: Well, actually I didn't used to be able to walk. But, now I can... RUN!!!!
He'll fix all of your problems in a heartbeat
Even if your life's a total mess
Both your mortgage and divorce
Will be washed away of course
With whatever you still owe the IRS
So if you can make friends with Cthulhu
He's the antithesis of all life (he thinks we're scum)
If you see him you'll go deaf
Right before you lose your breath
And cut your ears off with a carving knife
Oh what a friend we have in Cthulhu
He cares about us all equally (no not at all)
If you see him you'll go blind
If you don't you'll lose your mind
And you'll gouge your eyes out so you cannot
Tear your eyes out so you cannot
Rip your eyes out so you cannot see