Dump the dog & feed the garbage
Mow the floor & sweep the lawn
Salt & pepper on my porridge
Some day I'll be dead & gone
Oh my good girl loves me madly & my bad girl is a flirt
I'll take the good with the bad gladly
And I'll treat them both like dirt
Bread & b***er for my breakfast, peanut b***er for my lunch
Apple b***er for my dinner
Marjorine for Sunday brunch
Baseball's fine Football's rougher basketballers are all tall
But I like hockey, hockey's tougher
You must play without a ball
It's too much bother & too much trouble, I have stood all I can stand
I'm a son & I'm a father
I am just a middle man
When I wake up in the morning I hop up right out of bed
Unless of course I am hung over
Then I pretend that I am dead
Repeat Verse 1
Mow the floor & sweep the lawn
Salt & pepper on my porridge
Some day I'll be dead & gone
Oh my good girl loves me madly & my bad girl is a flirt
I'll take the good with the bad gladly
And I'll treat them both like dirt
Bread & b***er for my breakfast, peanut b***er for my lunch
Apple b***er for my dinner
Marjorine for Sunday brunch
Baseball's fine Football's rougher basketballers are all tall
But I like hockey, hockey's tougher
You must play without a ball
It's too much bother & too much trouble, I have stood all I can stand
I'm a son & I'm a father
I am just a middle man
When I wake up in the morning I hop up right out of bed
Unless of course I am hung over
Then I pretend that I am dead
Repeat Verse 1