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RPG (Rhymes of Phatness and Greatness) Lyrics

[funky49]
making saving throws, saving my bros
got chain mail, while ditching my clothes
carry magic torch, underwater it glows
brought along a mage for the spells he knows
wielding my sword, makin' them blows
three 6s - my strength - my muscle - shows
range weapons hit, deadly long bows
were-creatures hit with silver tip arrows
dungeons a breeze, grabbin that cheese
more spell components, what my mage needs
making lots of hits, makin' creatures bleed
because our greed their gold they cede
in common language I hear their pleads
got my mind on their money, mind on mead
with enough clerics, we will succeed
with enough XP next level I exceed

[redvoid]
my party is skilled and our strategy is tight
bringing points loaded feats to the barbaric fight
equipped to the hilt with mad gold and weaponry
we got about a half a million ways to slay thee
beating boss after boss and I'm leveling up
I got the magic cup to trade up at the shop
my sword never stops unless I counter with the mace
Jack up attacks with magic spells and ruin the place
we're looting town after town and the countryside
our scope is wide the map has no place for anything to hide
swarm through the caverns with devastating power
kill the residents take their treasure chests and seize the tower
information we glean from the gossiping town folk
is used to find the melee action locations that we leave smoked
more gems are the method we imbue our swords with
to cause more pain and suffering than light sabers swung by the Sith

[funky49]
hack and slash, mad dash for cash fighter flies
don't care when I hear - "Valkrie is about to die!"
Out to get loot and points for experience
Ignore orc h***ds take out the pimp
Limp back and get some healing from the cleric
Neutral-Good alignment, that is my shtick
three cheers cause we back from the dungeon
Fighting dragons, magic items plunderin'
collectin' gold, gems and a bit of fame
Peep my character sheet to know my name
Got armor, shields just to protect my a**
Ya know the aim's to decrease armor class
my blood is chilled tho loyal to my Guild
My charisma nice and my cup is filled
With contributions and dollars
my NPCs guaranteed to make ya holla
[red void]
chaotic neutral, my alignment
dexterity my broad sword shows refinement
my strength crushes right through any chain mail
two fisted swings dropping orcs I a**ail
glowing circle around my feet protection spell
bodies piled up in heaps burning is the smell
necromance the dead liege is what I summon
my stealth feat so high you wont see me comin
mad intelligence bolsters my accuracy
word on the street we're heroes legendary
collecting up all the lost broken shards
the daggers stabbing in your back are from my thief bard
my crew's got my back in the melee blizzard
magic blasts never slack from my wizards
jump from gate to gate and save point to point
navigate the maps deep when we wreck the joint
*Leeroy Jenkins sample

[funky49]
white dragons breath ice, red does fire
sucka NPCs all call me sire
rhymes are my kingdom, there is none higher
I won't stop gaming, till I retire
Critical hits you know I'm throwing twenties
Collecting loot, I'm blowing up mummies
monsters I'm hobblin' - striking hob-goblins
over their dead bodies ya know I'm robbin'
so you see me playing the RPGs
using my brain for strategy
throwin dice with many different faces
playin' characters of different races
Dungeon Master, being a b****** to me
rolling dice behind the screen so I can't see
at the local tavern, my character gets a brew
at home, underage I down a Mountain Dew

[red void]
to find all the secret hiding spots unseen
the gold we hold is getting huge getting obscene
parry search set traps you can't ignore
our quests are the origins of myth and lore
cloaked stranger robbing tombs rings on the shelf
poison attacks zombie doom archer half elf
recharge my mana with mystical charms accelerated
many sided die throws my software automated
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