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Dan Is the Man (in the Van) Lyrics

Captain!
There's a traitor on board!
Examine the horn!
According to the education you get when you small,
You will grow up with true ambition and respect from one and all.
But in my days in school, they teach me like a fool,
The things they teach me ah should be ah block-headed mule.

And wey dey teach yuh?
Dey teach mih: p**** has finished his work long ago an' now he resting an' ting.
Solomon a Gundy was born on ah Monday, de a** in de lion skin.
Winkin, Blinkin and Nod, sail off in ah wooden sloop,
De 'gouti lose he tail an' de alligator fighting, to make monkey-liver soup!
An' Dan, is the man, in the van!

Wepsee mama!

De poems an' de lessons dey write an' sen' from England
Impress me dey were trying to c**tivate comedians!
Comic books made more sense: you know it's fictitious, without pretence.
Cutteridge wanted to keep us in ignorence!

Tell me if dis eh chupidness:
Humpy-Dumpty sat on a wall!
Humpy-Dumpy did fall!
Goosey, Goosey Gyander?
Where shall I wander?
Ding, dong, del!l
p**** in de well!
R-I-K-K-I-T-I-K-K-I-Ah-T-Ah-V
Ah Rikki Tikki Tikki Tikki Tavi!
Dan, is de man, in de van!
Wepsee mama! Yep!
Ah say, Cutteridge was plenty times more advanced dan dem scientist,
I en believe dat no one man could write so much stupidness.
Aeroplanes didn' come so soon, scientists used to make de grade in balloon.
Cutteridge make a cow jump over the moon!

An' then he tell dem:
Tom, Tom de piper's son!
Teef ah pig an' away he run!
Once dere was a woman who lived in ah shoe,
She had so many children she didn' know what to do!
d***ory a-d***ory dock!
De mouse ran up de clock!
De lion and de mouse,
Ah woman pushing ah cow
To eat grass on top of ah house!
Ah an' Dan, is de man, in de van!
Aeyyyyyyuh!
Wipsee mama!

How I happen to get some education my friends, me eh know!
All dey teach me is about Beer Rabbit an' Rumpelstilskin-o.
Dey wanted to keep me down indeed, dey try dey best, but didn' succeed
You see, mih head was duncee an' up to now ah cyar read!

Who cares about:
Peter, Peter was ah pumpkin eater?
Some little, little people tie Gulliver?
When I was sick an' lay a-bed
I had two pillow at my head?
De goose lay de golden egg?
De spider catch a fly?
Morocoy with wings flapping in de sky?
Dey beat me like ah dog to learn dat in school,
If me head was bright ah woulda be a dahm fool!

With Dan is de man in de van
Can a pig dance a jig for a fig?
Twirly and Twisty were two screws!
Mister Mike, goes to school, on a bike!
Dan is de man, in de van!
Dan is de man, in de van!
Yeah! Dan is de man, in de van!
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