Well, I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter
Hell, ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine
Well then I saw that there cantina
I'll go in for an Orangina
I heard it was rough but how bad could it be?
Well I walked through the door and the music stopped--dead
All manner of man and beasts were starin' at me
Seems just one week before their Twi'lek slave girl walked out the door
And I guess I was the next best thing they'd seen
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man!
I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo
I'da never guessed that pirate was a h***
I woke up next to Chewbacca
I was smeared in Wookie caca
And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no!
Ol' Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie
And he yanked that sucker til it wasn't so teenie
He pulled me into Jabba's hut
He stared intently at my b***
And then he oota-toota'ed me with his zucchini
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man!
Well, a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you."
I said 'Sorry.'
He said 'I don't like you either, you better watch your self!' - I think his name was Tom Waits
And then some old dude who taught Vader
Chopped his arm off with a sabre
That later made for one red hot a*** invader - owwwww
I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor
Then I was saved! There at the door were 10 storm troopers!
But then my hope faded away,
I didn't know they cloned 'em gay
And they each took turns storm troopin' me in the p***er
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
Which is why I still go there every week!
Hell, ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine
Well then I saw that there cantina
I'll go in for an Orangina
I heard it was rough but how bad could it be?
Well I walked through the door and the music stopped--dead
All manner of man and beasts were starin' at me
Seems just one week before their Twi'lek slave girl walked out the door
And I guess I was the next best thing they'd seen
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man!
I was hit over the head by ol' Han Solo
I'da never guessed that pirate was a h***
I woke up next to Chewbacca
I was smeared in Wookie caca
And what they did to my poor nipples was a no-no!
Ol' Greedo greedily grabbed his green weenie
And he yanked that sucker til it wasn't so teenie
He pulled me into Jabba's hut
He stared intently at my b***
And then he oota-toota'ed me with his zucchini
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
But if you spread 'em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man!
Well, a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you."
I said 'Sorry.'
He said 'I don't like you either, you better watch your self!' - I think his name was Tom Waits
And then some old dude who taught Vader
Chopped his arm off with a sabre
That later made for one red hot a*** invader - owwwww
I was broken on the floor beat to a stupor
Then I was saved! There at the door were 10 storm troopers!
But then my hope faded away,
I didn't know they cloned 'em gay
And they each took turns storm troopin' me in the p***er
I lost more than my heart in that cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak if you turn the other cheek
Which is why I still go there every week!