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Astronaut Lyrics

I know what you're all wondering,
Have TriPod ever been to Japan?
You're ignoring a much bigger question,
Why dont the Japanese have a s***e program?
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts?
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronaut?
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one,
I'll tell you why.
Because you can't do a Japanese tea ceremony when your an astronaut.
It's those d*** fat gloves (Fat gloves)
And you can't do (Can't do)
A Japanese tea ceremony when youre in zero grav.
Because the tea goes everywhere (Tea goes everywhere.)

Japanese c**ture has always fasinated me,
From their traditions to their modern way of life.
But all their elegance and rich history,
doesn't sit well with my interest in s***e.

Because you cant carry out a ninja style a**assination dressed as an astronaut,
It's the luminous fabric (Too visible.)
And they dont let you (Ooo-ooo)
Use a samurai sword when your an astronaut,
You might puncture the suit.
You might depressurize, like a Gremlin in a microwave.
But it's those d*** fat gloves (fat gloves)
They're the main problem.
You can't nurture a Tamagotchi,
You cant make an origami swan.
And have you ever tried getting a used pantie vending machine into a s***e shuttle?
Well I've tried and they don't let you.
f****** NASA red tape.
Couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved,
So I threw away my dreams of outerspace.
I had to find myself a whole new job,
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place.

But you cant do a Japanese tea ceremony when your a boxing champ,
It's those d*** fat gloves again (Fat gloves again.)
Those confouded puffy mitts go right in front of my face,
Every night and day I'm haunted by fat gloves.

You can't drink saki,
You can't do bukaki,
Or ride a kawasaki,
When your an astronaut.

And they dont let you be an astronaut on Japanese telly,
Because your not enough of a red herring.
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