Now when I got home on Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose horse is that outside the door where my old horse should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely cow that me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a cow sure I never saw before
Now when I got home on Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose coat is that behind the door where my old coat should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely blanket that me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But b***ons on a blanket sure I never saw before
Now when I got home on Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a pipe upon the table where my old pipe should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose pipe is that upon the table where my old pipe should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely tin whistle my mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle I've never seen before
Now when I got home on Thursday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There were some boots under my bed where my old boots should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose boots are those under my bed where my old boots should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you can not see
They're just lovely flower pots me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces on a flower pot I never saw before
Now when I got home on Friday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a head upon the bed where my old head should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose head is that upon the bed where my old head should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you can not see
That's just a lovely baby boy me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But whiskers on a baby boy I've never saw before
But whiskers on a baby boy I've never saw before
There was a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose horse is that outside the door where my old horse should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely cow that me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a cow sure I never saw before
Now when I got home on Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose coat is that behind the door where my old coat should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely blanket that me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But b***ons on a blanket sure I never saw before
Now when I got home on Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a pipe upon the table where my old pipe should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose pipe is that upon the table where my old pipe should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you cannot see
That's just a lovely tin whistle my mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle I've never seen before
Now when I got home on Thursday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There were some boots under my bed where my old boots should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose boots are those under my bed where my old boots should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you can not see
They're just lovely flower pots me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces on a flower pot I never saw before
Now when I got home on Friday night, as drunk as drunk could be
There was a head upon the bed where my old head should be
So I called my wife and I said to her: (Hey Wife!) Will you kindly tell to me
Whose head is that upon the bed where my old head should be?
She said you're drunk, you're drunk,
You silly old fool, you're drunk you can not see
That's just a lovely baby boy me mother gave to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But whiskers on a baby boy I've never saw before
But whiskers on a baby boy I've never saw before