It came in the mail today
She seemed to have a lot to say
Poison letter from Loretta
Just as I was starting to feel a whole lot better
It was a shocking thing to read
Something I just did not need
In the letter from Loretta
She wrote "it's been a real ordeal ever since I met ya"
I pulled my knife and opened up the envelope
As I read those words I wondered how the hell I'd cope
Real bad news coming through my letterbox
She's changed her man and she's already changed the locks
I guess I'll never understand
How she can dismiss me out of hand
Poison letter from Loretta
I must have gone a real bad thing to upset her
I'm gonna deal out some pain
To that man who's driving me insane
'Cos Loretta thinks he's better
But he's gonna rue the day that he came to get her
I tried my best but it was not good enough
She said I'm lazy, mean and evil and all that stuff
The ink was black but it sure gave me the blues
Seems that I'm as second class as the stamp she used
I wanna win that woman back
Before I have a heart attack
I'm gonna write to Loretta and take the love I can't conceal
And put it in a letter
See if I cannot steal back my Loretta
And you know what I want...
...to get a love letter from Loretta
To get a love letter from Loretta (repeat to fade with vocal ad-libs)
She seemed to have a lot to say
Poison letter from Loretta
Just as I was starting to feel a whole lot better
It was a shocking thing to read
Something I just did not need
In the letter from Loretta
She wrote "it's been a real ordeal ever since I met ya"
I pulled my knife and opened up the envelope
As I read those words I wondered how the hell I'd cope
Real bad news coming through my letterbox
She's changed her man and she's already changed the locks
I guess I'll never understand
How she can dismiss me out of hand
Poison letter from Loretta
I must have gone a real bad thing to upset her
I'm gonna deal out some pain
To that man who's driving me insane
'Cos Loretta thinks he's better
But he's gonna rue the day that he came to get her
I tried my best but it was not good enough
She said I'm lazy, mean and evil and all that stuff
The ink was black but it sure gave me the blues
Seems that I'm as second class as the stamp she used
I wanna win that woman back
Before I have a heart attack
I'm gonna write to Loretta and take the love I can't conceal
And put it in a letter
See if I cannot steal back my Loretta
And you know what I want...
...to get a love letter from Loretta
To get a love letter from Loretta (repeat to fade with vocal ad-libs)