Once upon a time in the land of Melmond, the splendor of vegetation decayed.
It was prophecized that 4 stunning light warriors would come and save the day.
Arriving in corneria, amidst all the deliria, 4 m************ emerged
to teach a valued lesson;
bet you'll count your blessings
at the beating that's about to occur
I am the fighter. [Dune] I'm the leader of the gang.
I can't use any magic, but I'm critically acclaimed.
Introducing the RED Mage! The Jack of all trades!
Both magic, crazy tactics, leaving them all in their graves!
And there's the black belt and the black mage CLUMSY with the HITTIN'
but fixing to put a hurtin on all you f*****' b****ez
Don't forget, after this we gotta stop at the shop.
I ain't doin' much damage with this rock in a sock.
I am the RED MAGE, pimpin' a feather in my hat.
The name's [JoJO] Need somethin'? Yea, I got that.
Watch your step, 'cos I stand where you fall.
Eloquent abilities and that's not all.
Ostentatiously fashionable...What's my name, b****?
Light you on fire, and then I'll heal your s*** just to
burn you again, and then I'll cut you two.
It takes three men just to do what I do.
And that's my cue. Pointy hat, coat of blue, burnin'
bright yellow eyes, and I do what I do 'cos I
learned the dark arts from another time and age.
Bow down to me, b****** 'cos I'm the BLACK MAGE!
I got my wizard hat on, and I'm lookin' somethin' vicious.
All the ladies call me LUCKY 'cos I'm magicaly delicious.
4 s***es for a name? b****, I only need 3
[LEO] sign me up for the Final Fantasy!
I've just heard a legend as a prophecy that 4 strapping young lads would come and see me and all my majesty and save the princess, see, and put a d*** stop to the elemental fiends. The good knight, Garland -until recently- broke in and stole the f****** princess from me! Don't worry about it, sir! We're gonna take Garland DOWN! But we're gonna need some weapons 'fore we got into town. Let's Go!
Oh great, we're at the town shop. BLACK MAGES can't equip s***, so I'll wait outside..."Yay Leo"
Just take your time... hahahaha
I guess I'll go buy some spells and I'll find them all well; find something else to do with my time. That's fine.
Quit with the b******. Get back in the kitchen
Goin' on our way to find the Temple of Fiends
d***ed IMP better stay the hell away from me
Yo, SPUD, hit 'em with your nunchakus, G!
See if we can go and gain some gold and EXP
These wolves won't stop comin' after me,
but ain't nothin' compared to these spiders, see...
With you here, JOJO, to cast RUSE on me,
nothin's stoppin' us from buildin up the GP.
d***, LEO, why you keep gettin' hit?
You're bringin' down the team I'm sick of this s***!
You're a mediocre mage and you're trippin JOJO
I think it's time for you to get your a** in the BACK ROW!
Once we get inside the temple ya better up your energy
now everybody armor up and get behind me
surrender the princess or we're takin you down we're gonna
run your a** up outta this town.
Your defense is weak; fought imps tougher than you!
Good knight turned bad knight? Good night for you!
Surrender the princess, or surrender your life!
I'm light speeds ahead of you, now bleed on my knife!
That was a critical hit! Critics are thumbin' in awe?
Garland, you look like s***. Go home and cry to your ma.
Who do you think you are, boy? The LIGHT WARRIORS?!
Don't make me laugh! Although... you ARE glorious!
How DO you get your hair to match your armor so well?
I bet your manicurist has a dozen stories to tell!
Stand aside, BOY! I'll make a mockery of you.
Well, you'll be pushin up roses 'fore the time that I'm through!
Ya done it now shut ya mouth. Look what you made me do!
You can't keep up with me, you f*****' SLOW a** PUNK!
Your little knife ain't gonna stop my POWERFUL NUNCHAKUz!
Once you were the best knight in the KINGDOM
Now you're nothin' but a f*****' CRUMBUM, CHUM! Yea!
I bit my thumb at you, b****!
URGHRHGHRHGHRHGH
How dare you!
I'm back in this part just to fix up my glitch (inside joke)
Is that all you've got, you vexatious queef?
I'll knock you down! I'll make you wish you would have chosen [THIEF]
Your NUNCHAKU are as deadly -if not more so- than you!
And that isn't saying much, but it's true! HAHAHAHA! Have at you!
You were just lucky when you landed that blow. FA SHO!
But mine won't even show with my backup, bro! So back up bro.
Your back up? Yes.Oh No!
You think you've won, but your story has only begun!
I summon 4 ferocious FIENDS from beyond the sun!
Well god d*** you and your f***** s*** I'm goin home! No!
s*** there better have been pizza 2000 years ago.Yeah you a******.
THANK YOU ALL! You f*****' SAVED ME!
Without you 4 people, I don't know where I'd be!
Now saddle up, fellas, and get inside of me!
That's ONE hell of a way to increase your HP!
Now let's go see the king I hear he built us a bridge
we can go the town where all the pirates live,
muscle up some scalliwags, and get us a boat
so we can sail the seas and punch fish in the throat
3 sheets to the wind and I'll show ya the ropes!
I'm BIKKE the pirate! I'll put a hook in yer throat! Yo-ho-arrr
YO, BIKKE, check it out... I'm gonna slaughter your crew!
Now gimme ya ship! Avast! Or I'ma do it to you.
It's already been 5 minutes since we started this song! YARRRR
That's 4 Ninja Gaiden songs way to long!
Yarrr ya killed me mates! ...they're a pain in me b**!
Yee can take me ship, but I'm KEEPIN ME RUM!
My name is MATOYA an I got me some HERB!
If ya find my CRYSTAL I can hook you up.WERD!
Is it just me... or are my broomsticks TALKIN?
Crazy backwards words like Christpher WALKEN...
Lemme take anotha toke an' hope you find mah s***
'cos if you don't u won't be gettin' no HERB, legit?
s*** break out the cheez whiz we gonna have a party
we'll find that f***** crystal now break out the Bacardi
ya got a s**y voice call me up sometime
...or we'll be back with the crystal if ya change ya mind.
(I'll) DESTROY ALL OF THEM
KILL THEM ONE BY ONE
TEAR THEM INTO SHREDS
THIS WILL BE SO FUN
I rescued the princess and leveled up my crew
btch I done evened out the odds and now I'm comin' after you
I got my mind on the prize I'm takin' what's mine
Tell Doc Brown to get the DeLorean
We's goin' back in time, b****
GARLAND IS NO MORE
CHAOS REIGNS SUPREME
SO YOU WANT SOME MORE
CHECK OUT MY FOUR FIENDS
Destroyed LICH with FIR3
and KARY with MIGHT
Sockin Kraken Blockin' Knockin'
As we nuke TIAMAT tonight ya na na na
I got the crystalz time 2 go back 2 tha past
as I put this motha f***** sword in CHAOS' a**
Those fools are on their way
they'll rue the day they came my way
I'm CHAOS in the flesh
The FIENDS compare to fleas
compared to ME! It's GREAT to be pure CHAOS
I laid ERDRICK (Dragon Warrior) to rest ;)
And one by one you'll die by my hand
Oh, look what I've become
This fantasy is far from final
The worst is yet to come
rrrrescued the princess and captured the ship
we got the MYSTIC KEY from Elven Prince
defeated LICH KARY KRAKEN and TIAMAT with a chortle
ORB of EARTH FIRE WATER AIR opened the portal
Went back 2,000 years to the TEMPLE OF FIENDS
Now we're 4 LIGHT WARRIORS hauntin' ya dreamz
You're goin' down, CHAOS you shouldn't f*** with my crew
or LEO JOJO SPUD & I are gonna show you how we do
you m************!
We beat you before and we'll do it again
Every time you f*****' rise until this fantasy ends
You better stay on your gaurd 'cos when I strike you're gonna feel it
You f*****' piece of s*** you're goin' down, b****! I MEAN IT!
CHAOS I got a probm witcho muh fuh kin a**
that's why I captured the crystalz and came back to tha past
battled many foes on my way to you
and I won't think twice about destroyin' you too
I won' be so forgiving this time around...Say what??
I will put you in the ground!
You can't stop me now I'm more powerful than you
You puny half wit I'll hit you with my d***
Chaos reigns upon you and you question yourself
you find that messing with the best is never good for your health HAHA
b**** you better go home and cry to your mom YOUR MOM
'cos I been f***** practicin and takin my time MY TIME
You're good, but you're no Sephiroth
You're starting to p*** me off right now
Your defense is weak; fought IMPs tougher than you!
Good knight turned bad knight? Good night for you
I got so much HP You can call me TERMINATOR
'cos these muh tha fuh kin muscles ah buffah than SCHWARZENEGGAHz
Take a tip from my crew, b****! It's time to bow out!
After that we'll have a motha f***** nite on tha town!
'Cos it's a random battle system and your a** gun' b hurtin
an' I'll b bustin' out my trix like my name was Lance Burton
8-BIT muh the fuh kahz an' we're fully equipped
with SWORDS and STAVES and KNIVES all sorts of MAGICAL s*** let's go
How can this be happening? This CAN'T be true!?
... well I'ma kick u in ur muh the fuh kin FACE! You're through!
Ya done it now. Shutcha mouth. Look what you made me do!
I've got 1,000 volts of lightning runnin' through my veins
3 foot of steel in my hand and its flavor is PAIN
You've been playin' with FIR3 now ya gonna get burned
You're in over your head Another lesson to be learned
I'm gonna run you through You're gonna pay for your crime f**r
I just cast HASTE (FAST) and now you're runnin' outta time
They call me CHAOS for a reason, boy! Don't be ridiculous!
As of late I've found that time itself is rather meticulous!
I am IMMORTAL! I have inside me blood of KINGS! (name that reference...)
You and your friends will die here and I'll destroy EVERYTHING!
We are the LIGHT WARRIORS, b****! You heard what I said!
We're gonna end this paradox! You're only strong in your head!
You might think you're safe in this TIME LOOP, but now you're dead.
It was prophecized that 4 stunning light warriors would come and save the day.
Arriving in corneria, amidst all the deliria, 4 m************ emerged
to teach a valued lesson;
bet you'll count your blessings
at the beating that's about to occur
I am the fighter. [Dune] I'm the leader of the gang.
I can't use any magic, but I'm critically acclaimed.
Introducing the RED Mage! The Jack of all trades!
Both magic, crazy tactics, leaving them all in their graves!
And there's the black belt and the black mage CLUMSY with the HITTIN'
but fixing to put a hurtin on all you f*****' b****ez
Don't forget, after this we gotta stop at the shop.
I ain't doin' much damage with this rock in a sock.
I am the RED MAGE, pimpin' a feather in my hat.
The name's [JoJO] Need somethin'? Yea, I got that.
Watch your step, 'cos I stand where you fall.
Eloquent abilities and that's not all.
Ostentatiously fashionable...What's my name, b****?
Light you on fire, and then I'll heal your s*** just to
burn you again, and then I'll cut you two.
It takes three men just to do what I do.
And that's my cue. Pointy hat, coat of blue, burnin'
bright yellow eyes, and I do what I do 'cos I
learned the dark arts from another time and age.
Bow down to me, b****** 'cos I'm the BLACK MAGE!
I got my wizard hat on, and I'm lookin' somethin' vicious.
All the ladies call me LUCKY 'cos I'm magicaly delicious.
4 s***es for a name? b****, I only need 3
[LEO] sign me up for the Final Fantasy!
I've just heard a legend as a prophecy that 4 strapping young lads would come and see me and all my majesty and save the princess, see, and put a d*** stop to the elemental fiends. The good knight, Garland -until recently- broke in and stole the f****** princess from me! Don't worry about it, sir! We're gonna take Garland DOWN! But we're gonna need some weapons 'fore we got into town. Let's Go!
Oh great, we're at the town shop. BLACK MAGES can't equip s***, so I'll wait outside..."Yay Leo"
Just take your time... hahahaha
I guess I'll go buy some spells and I'll find them all well; find something else to do with my time. That's fine.
Quit with the b******. Get back in the kitchen
Goin' on our way to find the Temple of Fiends
d***ed IMP better stay the hell away from me
Yo, SPUD, hit 'em with your nunchakus, G!
See if we can go and gain some gold and EXP
These wolves won't stop comin' after me,
but ain't nothin' compared to these spiders, see...
With you here, JOJO, to cast RUSE on me,
nothin's stoppin' us from buildin up the GP.
d***, LEO, why you keep gettin' hit?
You're bringin' down the team I'm sick of this s***!
You're a mediocre mage and you're trippin JOJO
I think it's time for you to get your a** in the BACK ROW!
Once we get inside the temple ya better up your energy
now everybody armor up and get behind me
surrender the princess or we're takin you down we're gonna
run your a** up outta this town.
Your defense is weak; fought imps tougher than you!
Good knight turned bad knight? Good night for you!
Surrender the princess, or surrender your life!
I'm light speeds ahead of you, now bleed on my knife!
That was a critical hit! Critics are thumbin' in awe?
Garland, you look like s***. Go home and cry to your ma.
Who do you think you are, boy? The LIGHT WARRIORS?!
Don't make me laugh! Although... you ARE glorious!
How DO you get your hair to match your armor so well?
I bet your manicurist has a dozen stories to tell!
Stand aside, BOY! I'll make a mockery of you.
Well, you'll be pushin up roses 'fore the time that I'm through!
Ya done it now shut ya mouth. Look what you made me do!
You can't keep up with me, you f*****' SLOW a** PUNK!
Your little knife ain't gonna stop my POWERFUL NUNCHAKUz!
Once you were the best knight in the KINGDOM
Now you're nothin' but a f*****' CRUMBUM, CHUM! Yea!
I bit my thumb at you, b****!
URGHRHGHRHGHRHGH
How dare you!
I'm back in this part just to fix up my glitch (inside joke)
Is that all you've got, you vexatious queef?
I'll knock you down! I'll make you wish you would have chosen [THIEF]
Your NUNCHAKU are as deadly -if not more so- than you!
And that isn't saying much, but it's true! HAHAHAHA! Have at you!
You were just lucky when you landed that blow. FA SHO!
But mine won't even show with my backup, bro! So back up bro.
Your back up? Yes.Oh No!
You think you've won, but your story has only begun!
I summon 4 ferocious FIENDS from beyond the sun!
Well god d*** you and your f***** s*** I'm goin home! No!
s*** there better have been pizza 2000 years ago.Yeah you a******.
THANK YOU ALL! You f*****' SAVED ME!
Without you 4 people, I don't know where I'd be!
Now saddle up, fellas, and get inside of me!
That's ONE hell of a way to increase your HP!
Now let's go see the king I hear he built us a bridge
we can go the town where all the pirates live,
muscle up some scalliwags, and get us a boat
so we can sail the seas and punch fish in the throat
3 sheets to the wind and I'll show ya the ropes!
I'm BIKKE the pirate! I'll put a hook in yer throat! Yo-ho-arrr
YO, BIKKE, check it out... I'm gonna slaughter your crew!
Now gimme ya ship! Avast! Or I'ma do it to you.
It's already been 5 minutes since we started this song! YARRRR
That's 4 Ninja Gaiden songs way to long!
Yarrr ya killed me mates! ...they're a pain in me b**!
Yee can take me ship, but I'm KEEPIN ME RUM!
My name is MATOYA an I got me some HERB!
If ya find my CRYSTAL I can hook you up.WERD!
Is it just me... or are my broomsticks TALKIN?
Crazy backwards words like Christpher WALKEN...
Lemme take anotha toke an' hope you find mah s***
'cos if you don't u won't be gettin' no HERB, legit?
s*** break out the cheez whiz we gonna have a party
we'll find that f***** crystal now break out the Bacardi
ya got a s**y voice call me up sometime
...or we'll be back with the crystal if ya change ya mind.
(I'll) DESTROY ALL OF THEM
KILL THEM ONE BY ONE
TEAR THEM INTO SHREDS
THIS WILL BE SO FUN
I rescued the princess and leveled up my crew
btch I done evened out the odds and now I'm comin' after you
I got my mind on the prize I'm takin' what's mine
Tell Doc Brown to get the DeLorean
We's goin' back in time, b****
GARLAND IS NO MORE
CHAOS REIGNS SUPREME
SO YOU WANT SOME MORE
CHECK OUT MY FOUR FIENDS
Destroyed LICH with FIR3
and KARY with MIGHT
Sockin Kraken Blockin' Knockin'
As we nuke TIAMAT tonight ya na na na
I got the crystalz time 2 go back 2 tha past
as I put this motha f***** sword in CHAOS' a**
Those fools are on their way
they'll rue the day they came my way
I'm CHAOS in the flesh
The FIENDS compare to fleas
compared to ME! It's GREAT to be pure CHAOS
I laid ERDRICK (Dragon Warrior) to rest ;)
And one by one you'll die by my hand
Oh, look what I've become
This fantasy is far from final
The worst is yet to come
rrrrescued the princess and captured the ship
we got the MYSTIC KEY from Elven Prince
defeated LICH KARY KRAKEN and TIAMAT with a chortle
ORB of EARTH FIRE WATER AIR opened the portal
Went back 2,000 years to the TEMPLE OF FIENDS
Now we're 4 LIGHT WARRIORS hauntin' ya dreamz
You're goin' down, CHAOS you shouldn't f*** with my crew
or LEO JOJO SPUD & I are gonna show you how we do
you m************!
We beat you before and we'll do it again
Every time you f*****' rise until this fantasy ends
You better stay on your gaurd 'cos when I strike you're gonna feel it
You f*****' piece of s*** you're goin' down, b****! I MEAN IT!
CHAOS I got a probm witcho muh fuh kin a**
that's why I captured the crystalz and came back to tha past
battled many foes on my way to you
and I won't think twice about destroyin' you too
I won' be so forgiving this time around...Say what??
I will put you in the ground!
You can't stop me now I'm more powerful than you
You puny half wit I'll hit you with my d***
Chaos reigns upon you and you question yourself
you find that messing with the best is never good for your health HAHA
b**** you better go home and cry to your mom YOUR MOM
'cos I been f***** practicin and takin my time MY TIME
You're good, but you're no Sephiroth
You're starting to p*** me off right now
Your defense is weak; fought IMPs tougher than you!
Good knight turned bad knight? Good night for you
I got so much HP You can call me TERMINATOR
'cos these muh tha fuh kin muscles ah buffah than SCHWARZENEGGAHz
Take a tip from my crew, b****! It's time to bow out!
After that we'll have a motha f***** nite on tha town!
'Cos it's a random battle system and your a** gun' b hurtin
an' I'll b bustin' out my trix like my name was Lance Burton
8-BIT muh the fuh kahz an' we're fully equipped
with SWORDS and STAVES and KNIVES all sorts of MAGICAL s*** let's go
How can this be happening? This CAN'T be true!?
... well I'ma kick u in ur muh the fuh kin FACE! You're through!
Ya done it now. Shutcha mouth. Look what you made me do!
I've got 1,000 volts of lightning runnin' through my veins
3 foot of steel in my hand and its flavor is PAIN
You've been playin' with FIR3 now ya gonna get burned
You're in over your head Another lesson to be learned
I'm gonna run you through You're gonna pay for your crime f**r
I just cast HASTE (FAST) and now you're runnin' outta time
They call me CHAOS for a reason, boy! Don't be ridiculous!
As of late I've found that time itself is rather meticulous!
I am IMMORTAL! I have inside me blood of KINGS! (name that reference...)
You and your friends will die here and I'll destroy EVERYTHING!
We are the LIGHT WARRIORS, b****! You heard what I said!
We're gonna end this paradox! You're only strong in your head!
You might think you're safe in this TIME LOOP, but now you're dead.