[instrumental]
"Testing...one, two, three. Well...well f***, I mean; I just don't know what to say. I'm very glad to be here with you tonight, I'll be able to talk to you about some things...that I know a great deal about. Everyone knows that you are f***** up. And everyone knows that I am f***** up. But, does everyone know that you are more f***** up than me? Well, I know that. And you know that. But our purpose is to tell everyone that.
"Take for instance, the time you went to the bathroom, to take a shower. You had some soap, a towel, shampoo, washcloth, a brush, everything was set. But you had to call me to come turn on the water for you. You didn't know where or how. That is one instance of how f***** up you are.
"A second instance of how f***** up your are: You was going to cook you some breakfast. Well you went in there, and put some toast in the toaster, put a skillet on the stove, put some grease in it. You got you some eggs out, some bacon. Poured you some orange juice and some coffee. Got some jelly and some b***er. Fried eggs, salt, pepper, got some bacon on the grill. Everything was fine - except for one thing. You had to call in there...to show you how to use a fork.
"Now a third instance; the way you're f***** up. You got dressed, ready to go to school. Everything was fine - got outside, got in your car. Key in the ignition. Except for one thing. You had to call me to come show you..."
"Testing...one, two, three. Well...well f***, I mean; I just don't know what to say. I'm very glad to be here with you tonight, I'll be able to talk to you about some things...that I know a great deal about. Everyone knows that you are f***** up. And everyone knows that I am f***** up. But, does everyone know that you are more f***** up than me? Well, I know that. And you know that. But our purpose is to tell everyone that.
"Take for instance, the time you went to the bathroom, to take a shower. You had some soap, a towel, shampoo, washcloth, a brush, everything was set. But you had to call me to come turn on the water for you. You didn't know where or how. That is one instance of how f***** up you are.
"A second instance of how f***** up your are: You was going to cook you some breakfast. Well you went in there, and put some toast in the toaster, put a skillet on the stove, put some grease in it. You got you some eggs out, some bacon. Poured you some orange juice and some coffee. Got some jelly and some b***er. Fried eggs, salt, pepper, got some bacon on the grill. Everything was fine - except for one thing. You had to call in there...to show you how to use a fork.
"Now a third instance; the way you're f***** up. You got dressed, ready to go to school. Everything was fine - got outside, got in your car. Key in the ignition. Except for one thing. You had to call me to come show you..."