Cultivate Lyrics

I think I need to c**tivate my anger
I think I need to c**tivate my scream
I try to make you shake, I try to make you pander
To the parts of me suffocating underneath
I think I need to c**tivate my humor
See I only focus on what's in between
Melancholy is my name, melancholy makes a joyful girl insane
Think I need to study how to be serene
Or I'm gonna just lose you
I'm gonna just lose you
I'm gonna just lose you now

I think I need to c**tivate my laughter
I think I need to c**tivate my l***
I think I need to concentrate on ugly
Or I'm gonna try to be so pretty I will bust

Or I'm gonna just lose you
I'm gonna just lose you
I'm gonna just lose you now
I'm gonna just lose you
I'm gonna confuse you
The only way I know how
It isn't fair that the only thing I
Know's what I've been taught
And it isn't fair that the only thing I
Go for's what I'm not
And it isn't fair that the only thing I
Need's what I don't have
And it cracks you up that I'm oh so sad

Should be easy enough to find the passion
I've got plenty to be passionate about
I'm obsessed with you I'm depressed with me,
I'm undressing every ghost I see
I'm embittered by the way I'm burning out
I'm gonna just lose it
I'm gonna just lose it
I'm gonna sell you my soul
I'm gonna go crazy, I'm gonna sing badly
I'm gonna concede control

I think I need to c**tivate my anger, I only seem to
Have what's in between insanity is what's feeding me and
Loneliness promises to lead to
Another resting place of lost and found
See how happy I can be when I'm pretending I'm not me
Think I need to medicate my innermost girl-scout