28 Hours a Day Lyrics

Pick up dry cleaning
Wax the cat traps
Conduct blind taste test between b***er and margarine
Sabotage police speed trap near the high school
Watch slow-motion tapes of the Cobra Clutch
Stare at a telephone pole and hope it catches on fire
Write "shuttlecock" backwards on forehead
Buy apple soda at the dollar store

Twenty eight hours a day
Suicide, the power (?)
Twenty eight hours a day
Take my life away

Steal mail from back of mail truck
Call Smokey the Bear a liar
Start garbage fire
Develop cure for the measles
Cross-check obituaries with junior high yearbooks
Invent a new number that goes between two and three
Pay the light bill
Finish proton accelerator

Twenty eight hours a day
This is the only way
Twenty eight hours a day
Spend it all in the shade

Try to invent speed boat that will work on land
Start donnybrook in front of coffee store
Make bonsai tree out of poker chips
Electrify mailbox for a rude surprise
Re-paint the bathroom
Grow rap video hair
Write nasty letter to Prince Charles
Sharpen spoon on floor of garage

Twenty eight hours a day
The kids all think I'm crazy
Twenty eight hours a day
Look at pictures of Tina Fey

Field strip clock radio
Guess Kenny Rogers' phone number
Punch out neighbours' windows
Buy more Snake from Jerry