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King Tardy Lyrics

KING OF TARDY
lyrics by ithaka c. 1997
(inspired by Craig Dahl, laziest b****** of all time)
MY NAME IS C.R.D.,
I'm the King of Tardy.
If I said,
"Be there by eight"
You never really know when,
You'll be lucky
If I make it by ten,
Cuz,
I gotta shower,
Shave,
Put on a tune.
If I said ten a.m., I'll try and make it by noon.
I'm the flakiest cat you ever did meet,
Just can't seem to get fast upon my feet.
Two hours late is early for me,
Like to take my time,
Dress to the Tee.
I'll make you late if you're coming along,
So just kick back, have a beer and a song.
If there's a swell on the sea,
Don't count on me.
Can't think of time, as I jam down the line.
Don't even dream 'bout holding your breath,
By the time I get outta the water, you'll be starving to death.
It's taken me a lifetime
To earn this t**le,
Cuz,
Sleeping in,
For me,
Is extremely vital.
So,
If you need to be on time,
Don't count on me,
it ain't for nothing
I'm the king of Tardy
Report lyrics
Stellafly (1997)