Drunkard's Lament Lyrics

Call me a god and I'll tip the undertaker
That fool couldn't tell a real still from a faker
Well I ain't no fool, but I play one on TV
Cause misery loves company
That's why everyone loves me
Now, buy me a drink and I'll tell you all a story
About a b****** who traded in treasure for glory
There treasure was true love, the b****** he was me
Cause misery loves company
That's why everyone loves me

Well, I've been a rich man
I've been a poor man
Inside a Saturday night
I've done the works
And there's one thing I know
You can't win if it ain't a fair fight
I ain't seen the pastor since Sunday b***** morning
All the girls in the choir are in labor or mourning
Take one look in my eyes, I think you'll all agree
Cause misery loves company
And that's why everyone loves me
I've done every s*** job
Handed out nose jobs
Made a few friends in the tombs
But I've found that in most cases
Fixing the the rat race
Is better than pushing a broom

Now, who shall I marry the junky or the jailer?
Your choices are few when you know you're a failure
But there's one thing that everyone in the bar agrees
That misery loves company
And that's why everyone loves me