Like clothes on the line I'm three sheets to the wind
But stay tighter than the strings on a violin
Me I'm as dirty as they come but still spic and span
I ride 28 inches on my creepy black van
And you can catch me posted up down by the trailer park
I'm selling bootleg movies from noon to dark
But at nine o'clock it's time to close up shop
And find some unsuspecting girlie who gonna blow my top
I like cruising by the gap and the old navy
I like scoping out the milf's and the old ladies
Pulling right up to the curb with my windows pitch black
Practice catch and then release I do my thing and then I throw 'em back
[Chorus: x2]
My van!
In my van they don't never see it coming
Stone cold killer slanging rock hard loving
In my van here's how we do
I got something waiting for you
I never keep 'em very long because they tend to stink
And they'll be x**xxxx up my camel skin zebra print seats
And I'm a mother x**xxxx pimp so can't be cramping my style
With some decomposing stank ho wearing a smile
I gotta keep my reputation I got clientel
I can't be pushing finding nemo with no funky x** smell
I keep my chevrolet polished and my s*** rug vaccumed
And a sticker on the back glass says "s*** happens"
And I'm cool as fan in my burt reynolds shades
But my futures pretty dim that's why I can't get laid
So I'm a get it how I get gotta get up in them britches
I'm a get it how I get I'm a take it from these b******!
[Chorus x2]
If the van be a rocking then dontcha come a knocking
You might see me do the nasty face covered in a stocking
Nothing on but a tool belt and bvd's
A chick tied to a shelf full of dvd's
I got that old school p*** showing in the headrest
Try choking out this honey but she ain't dead yet
I got her in the camel clutch, remote control stuck in her b***
She be switching scene selections everytime she bust a nut
You might say I'm kinda sick and you might call me a freak
Because I pull up to the intersection's gripping my meat
But to all them freaky b******, x**xxxx I be the man
I bet they never forget the time they had in my van!
[Chorus x2]
[harmonica playing out]
But stay tighter than the strings on a violin
Me I'm as dirty as they come but still spic and span
I ride 28 inches on my creepy black van
And you can catch me posted up down by the trailer park
I'm selling bootleg movies from noon to dark
But at nine o'clock it's time to close up shop
And find some unsuspecting girlie who gonna blow my top
I like cruising by the gap and the old navy
I like scoping out the milf's and the old ladies
Pulling right up to the curb with my windows pitch black
Practice catch and then release I do my thing and then I throw 'em back
[Chorus: x2]
My van!
In my van they don't never see it coming
Stone cold killer slanging rock hard loving
In my van here's how we do
I got something waiting for you
I never keep 'em very long because they tend to stink
And they'll be x**xxxx up my camel skin zebra print seats
And I'm a mother x**xxxx pimp so can't be cramping my style
With some decomposing stank ho wearing a smile
I gotta keep my reputation I got clientel
I can't be pushing finding nemo with no funky x** smell
I keep my chevrolet polished and my s*** rug vaccumed
And a sticker on the back glass says "s*** happens"
And I'm cool as fan in my burt reynolds shades
But my futures pretty dim that's why I can't get laid
So I'm a get it how I get gotta get up in them britches
I'm a get it how I get I'm a take it from these b******!
[Chorus x2]
If the van be a rocking then dontcha come a knocking
You might see me do the nasty face covered in a stocking
Nothing on but a tool belt and bvd's
A chick tied to a shelf full of dvd's
I got that old school p*** showing in the headrest
Try choking out this honey but she ain't dead yet
I got her in the camel clutch, remote control stuck in her b***
She be switching scene selections everytime she bust a nut
You might say I'm kinda sick and you might call me a freak
Because I pull up to the intersection's gripping my meat
But to all them freaky b******, x**xxxx I be the man
I bet they never forget the time they had in my van!
[Chorus x2]
[harmonica playing out]