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If I Was the Priest Lyrics

Now there's a light on yonder mountain
It's calling me to shine
There's a girl standing by the water fountain
She's asking to be mine
Well, and ain't that Jesus, he's a-standing in the doorway
With a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs, so really fine
Well, he says, "I need you up in Dodge City, son
'Cause there's oh so many outlaws tying to ride the same line"
Well now if Jesus were the sheriff, oh, and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress, oh, and my mother was a thief
Yeah, well now, Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There's still too many bad boys
Trying to work the same line

Old sweet Virgin Mary
She runs the Holy Grail Saloon
Where for a nickel they'll sell you whiskey
And a personally blessed balloon
The Holy Ghost, he's the host with the most
He runs the burlesque show
Where they let you in for free
Ah, but hit you for your soul when you go
And Mary runs Mass on a Sunday
Oh, then sells her body on a Monday
To the bootlegger who can pay the highest price
But he don't know he got stuck with a loser
Mary's a stone junkie, what's more she's a boozer
She's only been made once or twice
By some kind of magic
Well now if Jesus were the sheriff, oh, and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress, oh and my mama was a thief
Yeah, now Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There's still too many outlaws
Trying to ride the same line
Now there's a light on yonder mountain
And it's calling me to shine
There's a girl standing by the water fountain
She's asking to be mine
And ain't that Jesus, he's a-standing in the doorway
With his six-guns drawn, ugh, and ready to fan
Well, he says, "I need you up in Dodge City, son
'Cause I'm already overdue in Cheyenne"
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