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Virtually Fat Free Lyrics

When I was a young boy
Knee-high to a pig
Well I had so much life in me
I'd run and skip and hop and jig
I ate almost anything
Everything I could
Buns and cakes and cakes and buns
My word those days they did taste good
Hey!

Well now I'm two foot taller and
The world's a different place
It seems the last thing anybody
Wants to do is stuff their face
Mention what's for pudding
And you're only get a frown
And things that used to pick me up they
Seem to, only bring me down

Talked to by the paper
It's becoming quite a bore
I'll throw it in the dustbin
Cos I've heard it all before

Do you take sugar and tea?
Do you get enough Vitaman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?

Do you take sugar and tea?
Do you get enough Vitiman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?
Cut out your cholestoral
And keep your fibre high
And watch out for preservatives
Read the pack before you buy
Keep an eye on sugar
Stop caining all those sweets
Well I begin to wonder
If there's anything nice left ot eat

Talked to by the T.V.
It's gone way beyond a joke
Dietary pointers from a slimfast bloke

Do you take sugar and tea?
Do you get enough Vitiman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?

Do you take sugar and tea?
Do you get enough Vitiman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?
Oh Yeah!
Do you take sugar and tea?
Do you get enough Vitiman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?

I don't wanna cause a brouhaha
But don't you think it's gone a little too far
When your giving me the third degree
Just because I have a little bit of sugar in tea

[Do you drop a little bit of LSD?]
Do you get enough Vitiman C? [I smoke a little THC]
Do you count your calories? [Then you're weak and ... your face on ectasy]
Are you virtually fat free?
I don't wanna cause a brouhaha [Are you stuck in those seventies?!]
But don't you think it's gone a little too far [Do you think they'll ...]
When your giving me the third degree [It is 'cos we're livin' in Tennesse]
Just because I have a little bit of sugar in tea

Do you get enough Vitiman C?
Do you count your calories?
Are you virtually fat free?
I don't wanna cause a brouhaha
But don't you think it's gone a little too far
When your giving me the third degree...

Just because I have a sugar in my tea!
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Rhubarb (1997)
The Joose Is Coming Soon Pie in the Sky The Parradiddle Song Never Knew You Taxman Mr Fixit Holiday Long Way Inspiration Place So Near Can't Keep Living This Way Anniversary Virtually Fat Free