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Quest for the Arkentools, Part 1 Lyrics

My name is Stanley, occupation: Overlord
I lead a horrifying hellish horde.
(The best I can afford.)
I've had some trouble lately in the neighborhood;
The so-called "good guys" say I'm evil
But I'm just misunderstood.
Why can't they see I'm not an ordinary man?
The t**ans called on me to carry out their plan.
And when you're holy, well it changes all the rules.
I'm on a quest for the Arkentool!

The t**ans test me, though I am their favorite son,
I had eleven shining cities
Now I'm down to only one.
Can't say that things are really going all that well
My warlords fell, and then a spell
Turned them to anti-personnell.
Now all I've got are ones who've given up the ghost.
Just Leeroy, Ferdinand, Phat-Singh and Ensign Toast.
Manpower croaked, now he just stands around and drools.
They're not much help with the Arkentools!

Now Wanda wants to spend 350 grand
To buy a spell to get a warlord
But she doesn't understand.
She thinks one guy could be the difference in this fight.
I think her heart is in the right place,
But she isn't very bright.
Only the t**ans know how best to serve their wills.
So if the jig is up, I'll take it to the hills.
I've got my dwagons here, to help me save my jewels,
Oh and the quest for the Arkentools.

I guess I'll go along with Wanda's warlord thing.
'Cause even overlords don't know just what tomorrow's gonna bring.
A leader's got to keep perceptually strong,
Consider every possibility
Except for being wrong.

She'd better find a guy who's worth that hefty bill
A perfect warrior to do the t**ans' will.
Might be how they fulfill my special destiny.
I guess we'll see. I guess we'll see.
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