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The Wife (La Mogliera) Lyrics

I have traveled to so many places and so many things have caught my eye. Women have so many shapes and faces, there's a special one for every guy. So listen to the good advice I give you, then you'll know just what is on the menu:

Se te la piglia senza niente, fa la figura delu paziente
(If you catch a poor one, you'll be like a peasant)
Se te la piglia ricc' a**ai, che domanda..non lo sai
(if you catch a rich one, she'll ask, but you don't know)
Se te la piglia troppa brutta, tutta rimane la bocc'asciutt
(if you catch an ugly one, you'll be left with a dry mouth)
Se te la piglia troppa bella, ma ci vola sentinella
(if you catch a real beauty, she'll want to fly like a bird)???
Once I met a girl so shy and pretty and I chose her for my bride to be. Then one day she packed and left the city, taking all my dough and jewelry. Since that day I've gathered so much knowledge, these are things they don't teach you in college:

Se te la piglia troppa grassa, tutta la casa po disconguassa
(if you catch an obese one, she squash the house)
Se te la piglia troppa secca, po abbraccia con a stecca
(if you catch a skinny one, you'll be hugging a stick)
Se te la piglia picerella, dopo da gira la cerevella
(if you marry a tiny one, she'll make you dizzy)
Se te la piglia cittadino, piano piano te rovina
(if you catch a native, slowly slowly she'll ruin you)
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Songs for Pizza Lovers / Lou Monte Sings for You (1999)
The Sheik of Napoli Jealous of You (Tando Della Gelosia) Bony Lena Calypso Italiano If I Knew You Were Comin' Id've Baked a Cake (Italian Style) Ha! Ha! Ha! (Che Lla La!) Eh Marie! Eh Marie! The Wife (La Mogliera) Musica Bella (The Beautiful Music of Love) Angelique-O Round and Round My Heart Italian Jingle Bells Lazy Mary (Luna Mezza Mare) Don't Say Forever (O Sole Mio) Just Say I Love Her When I Hold You in My Arms I Have but One Heart Darktown Strutters Ball (Italian Style) Mama (Mamma) Tango of Roses (Tonago Del Rosa) Now Is the Time (Torna a Surriento) Roman Guitar (Chitarra Romana) Non Dimenticar (Don't Forget) Italian Huckle-Buck (The Huckle Buck) Hay Gumbarre (Bibadee Bobadee Bu) Pizza Boy U.S.A. The Italian Cowboy Song Skinny Lena