Yer truckin' casually down the street
When a man comes up to ya lookin' beat
With telltale traces of hippie on his chin
You say howdy, he says "Hi,
Got anything that'll make me fly?
And if ya do I surely wish you'd let me in
On what yer dealin', brother."
In your mind you start to wonder
What to turn this fella onto
Then you get a look into his eyes
You find his beard is only make-up
And his line is purely fake-up
Then and only then you realize
He's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local FBI
Your friendly neighborhood narco daddy
All-American finking Feddie
There to trip you up while you are high
You're sitting in the coffeehouse gloom
When the waiter comes up to you with a broom
And asks to sweep the floor around your chair
You ask him why and he says, "Routine -
"We like to keep our coffee clean."
And he begins to tidy up with care
*You light yourself a cigarette
And find out soon as you got it lit
That 40 new-found friends are by your side
Then someone hands you a note that's penciled
Telling you your flight's been canceled
Just the same you're going for a ride, with your?
*(Alternate 80's section:
You dip your spoon and carve a line
Lay your nostril next to mine
When 40 college kids show up to snort
And as they're peeling off their clothes
Some bug-eyed dude with a plugged up nose
Is standing by to blow your brains apart
It's your?)
Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local FBI
Your friendly neighborhood narco daddy
All-American finking Feddie
There to trip you up while you are high
You duck into an alley way, thinking,
"Hey, maybe I can cop a J
And get back before the boss finds out I'm gone."
Remembering the golden rule
You look both ways, make sure it's cool
And when there ain't a soul for miles around
You clutch your baggie full of weed
And careful not to spill a seed
You roll a joint as big as Baltimore
And as you take that first big drag in
A helicopter drops a paddy wagon
Guess who's standing smiling by the door
It's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local CIA
Your friendly neighborhood college drop-out
Undercover copper cop-out
Keeping law and order bright and gay
Yes, you find out that the freak your trusted
Is the fink that got you busted
And 20 years is a long time to stay on the ground
-----------------------------------------------------------
Spring is here, the weather's warm
You buy yourself a little farm
Way up in the California hills
Instead of brewing mountain dew
You plant yourself a little boo
And ya sow the seed in hillside rows and drills
One sunny day you walk outside
Grab your garden rake with pride
And sally forth to c**tivate your crop
When from the sky, like acid rain,
A military cargo plane
Starts gassing all your sprouts with Paraquat
It's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Doing just what Uncle Sam expects
Who cares about a little spray
That ****'s illegal anyway
And he'd rather have you hooked on birth defects
Your uncle died a while ago
But he left you something, doncha know
A hundred million smackers in his will!
You thought of investing in fishing worms
Stocks and bonds or high tech firms
But none of that seemed to give you much of a thrill
So you headed down Miami way, hopped a flight for Quito Bay
Where you promptly bought yourself a fleet of two-man subs
You filled 'em up with bricks and blocks
But when you surfaced at the Miami docks
Waiting on the pier were Crockett and Tubbs
And your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Don't that Cuban suit sure look nice?
He does his best to keep it clean
He wants to be a s** machine
When he does his guest shot on Miami Vice
I wrote this song I don't know when
I swore I'd never sing it again
But no matter what I do it won't go 'way
You'd think in these days of superstars
MTV and VCR's
You kids could come up with better tunes to play
But this jock in LA keep spinning the thing
And I keep hearing my telephone ring
So I guess it's my mission in life to fill this void
Ounce for ounce, pound for pound
I'm glad the narcs are still around
Wouldn't be no fun if you couldn't be paranoid
Of your?
Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of the gang at DEA
Who cares if the joker didn't inhale
It ain't his *** what's going to jail
Though his wife might put him there some day
It still could be worse than it seems
You could have Nancy Reagan running through your dreams
And 20 years is a long time to just say no. (mebrown)
When a man comes up to ya lookin' beat
With telltale traces of hippie on his chin
You say howdy, he says "Hi,
Got anything that'll make me fly?
And if ya do I surely wish you'd let me in
On what yer dealin', brother."
In your mind you start to wonder
What to turn this fella onto
Then you get a look into his eyes
You find his beard is only make-up
And his line is purely fake-up
Then and only then you realize
He's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local FBI
Your friendly neighborhood narco daddy
All-American finking Feddie
There to trip you up while you are high
You're sitting in the coffeehouse gloom
When the waiter comes up to you with a broom
And asks to sweep the floor around your chair
You ask him why and he says, "Routine -
"We like to keep our coffee clean."
And he begins to tidy up with care
*You light yourself a cigarette
And find out soon as you got it lit
That 40 new-found friends are by your side
Then someone hands you a note that's penciled
Telling you your flight's been canceled
Just the same you're going for a ride, with your?
*(Alternate 80's section:
You dip your spoon and carve a line
Lay your nostril next to mine
When 40 college kids show up to snort
And as they're peeling off their clothes
Some bug-eyed dude with a plugged up nose
Is standing by to blow your brains apart
It's your?)
Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local FBI
Your friendly neighborhood narco daddy
All-American finking Feddie
There to trip you up while you are high
You duck into an alley way, thinking,
"Hey, maybe I can cop a J
And get back before the boss finds out I'm gone."
Remembering the golden rule
You look both ways, make sure it's cool
And when there ain't a soul for miles around
You clutch your baggie full of weed
And careful not to spill a seed
You roll a joint as big as Baltimore
And as you take that first big drag in
A helicopter drops a paddy wagon
Guess who's standing smiling by the door
It's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of your local CIA
Your friendly neighborhood college drop-out
Undercover copper cop-out
Keeping law and order bright and gay
Yes, you find out that the freak your trusted
Is the fink that got you busted
And 20 years is a long time to stay on the ground
-----------------------------------------------------------
Spring is here, the weather's warm
You buy yourself a little farm
Way up in the California hills
Instead of brewing mountain dew
You plant yourself a little boo
And ya sow the seed in hillside rows and drills
One sunny day you walk outside
Grab your garden rake with pride
And sally forth to c**tivate your crop
When from the sky, like acid rain,
A military cargo plane
Starts gassing all your sprouts with Paraquat
It's your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Doing just what Uncle Sam expects
Who cares about a little spray
That ****'s illegal anyway
And he'd rather have you hooked on birth defects
Your uncle died a while ago
But he left you something, doncha know
A hundred million smackers in his will!
You thought of investing in fishing worms
Stocks and bonds or high tech firms
But none of that seemed to give you much of a thrill
So you headed down Miami way, hopped a flight for Quito Bay
Where you promptly bought yourself a fleet of two-man subs
You filled 'em up with bricks and blocks
But when you surfaced at the Miami docks
Waiting on the pier were Crockett and Tubbs
And your Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Don't that Cuban suit sure look nice?
He does his best to keep it clean
He wants to be a s** machine
When he does his guest shot on Miami Vice
I wrote this song I don't know when
I swore I'd never sing it again
But no matter what I do it won't go 'way
You'd think in these days of superstars
MTV and VCR's
You kids could come up with better tunes to play
But this jock in LA keep spinning the thing
And I keep hearing my telephone ring
So I guess it's my mission in life to fill this void
Ounce for ounce, pound for pound
I'm glad the narcs are still around
Wouldn't be no fun if you couldn't be paranoid
Of your?
Friendly Neighborhood Narco Agent
Friendly neighborhood narco man
Courtesy of the gang at DEA
Who cares if the joker didn't inhale
It ain't his *** what's going to jail
Though his wife might put him there some day
It still could be worse than it seems
You could have Nancy Reagan running through your dreams
And 20 years is a long time to just say no. (mebrown)