Well, I'm trying to read my Sunday Times; it costs a nickel & 12 dimes
I bought it late Saturday night; I've almost finished but not quite
It weighed a ton it seemed to me that each one of them must take a tree to
make
& also, I should think, it takes about a gallon of ink
Right off the bat in Section One: who, when, where, how & what got done
The outlook's bleak, it's clear to see; Section 1 depresses me
All the heavy duty news; it gives you the over-informed blues
& I'm so relieved when 1's all through; thumb through 1, get on to 2
Now I'm a show-biz kinda guy; the business is my life & that's no lie
2's one of my favorite parts: Entertainment & Leisure Arts
Which movie's great, which Broadway play; exclamation points the way
The next time that things get this great is Sports way up in Section Eight
I hoist the Times into my lap & take some time to heave some c***
I guess some guys dig Section 3 but Business bores the pants off me
If you want boring, here's a chore: Week in Review, that Section 4
& who in the hell wants a review? Once was enough for me, thank you
After 3 & 4 it's clear you want to get away from here
Escape to somewhere & you'll try; it's time to Travel; Section 5
Guatamala's always quaint although the right-wing death squads ain't
Satanic c**ts down the block; better stay at home, escape c**ture shock
The Magazine is Section 6 with food & wine, full-color pics
So s**y that you gotta stare at all the advertisements in there
So glossy that the pages stick; flipping one at a time's a trick
The crossword will keep you up late; & it's camp if your kids are overweight
Section7, Book Review; it comes with me into the loo
The TV section; that's 11; naturally that goes with 7
7, 11, that's it; I read them there when 'ere I sit & read
8 reviews of those who write; leads one to think that one day one might
You need a job? That's Section 9. You're not jobless? Hey, that's fine
Section 10 is Real Estate. You're not homeless? Hey, that's great
This town is so strange; in this town life's subject to change
What goes up comes down again. Hold on to 9, hold on to 10
Well, it's Tuesday & I'm still not done with Sunday's Times, son of a gun
Monday & Tuesday's still unread; I could have read War & Peace instead
A great relief I do not doubt when it's time to throw all of these Times out
Tomorrow I'll buy Wednesday's Times; it's just one nickel.just one
nickel.just one nickel & three dimes
I bought it late Saturday night; I've almost finished but not quite
It weighed a ton it seemed to me that each one of them must take a tree to
make
& also, I should think, it takes about a gallon of ink
Right off the bat in Section One: who, when, where, how & what got done
The outlook's bleak, it's clear to see; Section 1 depresses me
All the heavy duty news; it gives you the over-informed blues
& I'm so relieved when 1's all through; thumb through 1, get on to 2
Now I'm a show-biz kinda guy; the business is my life & that's no lie
2's one of my favorite parts: Entertainment & Leisure Arts
Which movie's great, which Broadway play; exclamation points the way
The next time that things get this great is Sports way up in Section Eight
I hoist the Times into my lap & take some time to heave some c***
I guess some guys dig Section 3 but Business bores the pants off me
If you want boring, here's a chore: Week in Review, that Section 4
& who in the hell wants a review? Once was enough for me, thank you
After 3 & 4 it's clear you want to get away from here
Escape to somewhere & you'll try; it's time to Travel; Section 5
Guatamala's always quaint although the right-wing death squads ain't
Satanic c**ts down the block; better stay at home, escape c**ture shock
The Magazine is Section 6 with food & wine, full-color pics
So s**y that you gotta stare at all the advertisements in there
So glossy that the pages stick; flipping one at a time's a trick
The crossword will keep you up late; & it's camp if your kids are overweight
Section7, Book Review; it comes with me into the loo
The TV section; that's 11; naturally that goes with 7
7, 11, that's it; I read them there when 'ere I sit & read
8 reviews of those who write; leads one to think that one day one might
You need a job? That's Section 9. You're not jobless? Hey, that's fine
Section 10 is Real Estate. You're not homeless? Hey, that's great
This town is so strange; in this town life's subject to change
What goes up comes down again. Hold on to 9, hold on to 10
Well, it's Tuesday & I'm still not done with Sunday's Times, son of a gun
Monday & Tuesday's still unread; I could have read War & Peace instead
A great relief I do not doubt when it's time to throw all of these Times out
Tomorrow I'll buy Wednesday's Times; it's just one nickel.just one
nickel.just one nickel & three dimes