In spite of what they say, I'm still not right. Out of body out of mind and out of everyone's sight. But even through the struggle I still hold tight, leaving the pieces behind makes it easier to feel alive. I need to live, I need to love, not just survive. Force myself, not finished yet, facing fears I thought I'd dreamt. Life don't wait for payment sent and what I've earned hasn't made a dent. This isn't me, this isn't who I was supposed to be - a dead weight hanging on your words. The cast of my mold is cracked and for once in my life it feels good to accept that second place is a finish that we get. The weight of it all is crushing me. I'm trying to reach this level of peace where I feel nothing for anyone or anything, maybe then I can finally sleep. Fighting for survival and trying to kill the pain, searching for the sun in a world that always rains. Fighting for survival and trying to kill the pain, if it's peace I need so be it but I'll always curse your name.