Well, i was feelin' sad an' kinda blue
I didn't know what i was gonna do
The communists was comin' around
They was in the air
They was on the ground
They was all over.
So i ran down must hurriedly
An' joined the John Birch society
Got me a secret membership card
Went back home thru the yard
Started lookin' on the sidewalk
Under the hedges.
Well i got up in the mornin'
Looked under my bed
I's lookin' every place for them gol-darned reds
Looked behind the sink an' under the floor
Looked in the glove compartment of my car
Couldn't find any.
Looked behind the close, behind the chair
Looking for them reds everywhere
Looked up my chimney hole
Even deep down inside my toilet bowl
They got away
I heard some footsteps by the front porch door
So i grabbed my shotgun from the floor
I snuck around the house with a huff 'n' a hiss
Say, "Hands up!, you communist''
It was the mail man ... he punched me out
When i's sittin' home i started to sweat
I figured they was in my tv set
I peeked behind the picture frame
Got a shock from my feet that hit my brain
Them reds did it!
Hootenany television.
Well i quit my job so i could work alone
Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes
Following some clues from my detective bag
I discovered red stripes in the American flag
Betsy Ross!
Now Eisenhower is a Russian spy
Lincoln, Jefferson an' that Roosevelt guy
To my knowledge there is just one man
That's really a truly American
That's George Lincoln Rockwell
I know for a fact he hates commies
'Cause he picketed the movie Exodus.
I finally started thinkin' straight
When i ran outa things to investigate
I couldn't imagine nothin' else
An' now i'm home investigatin' myself
Hope i don't find out too much
Good god!
I didn't know what i was gonna do
The communists was comin' around
They was in the air
They was on the ground
They was all over.
So i ran down must hurriedly
An' joined the John Birch society
Got me a secret membership card
Went back home thru the yard
Started lookin' on the sidewalk
Under the hedges.
Well i got up in the mornin'
Looked under my bed
I's lookin' every place for them gol-darned reds
Looked behind the sink an' under the floor
Looked in the glove compartment of my car
Couldn't find any.
Looked behind the close, behind the chair
Looking for them reds everywhere
Looked up my chimney hole
Even deep down inside my toilet bowl
They got away
I heard some footsteps by the front porch door
So i grabbed my shotgun from the floor
I snuck around the house with a huff 'n' a hiss
Say, "Hands up!, you communist''
It was the mail man ... he punched me out
When i's sittin' home i started to sweat
I figured they was in my tv set
I peeked behind the picture frame
Got a shock from my feet that hit my brain
Them reds did it!
Hootenany television.
Well i quit my job so i could work alone
Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes
Following some clues from my detective bag
I discovered red stripes in the American flag
Betsy Ross!
Now Eisenhower is a Russian spy
Lincoln, Jefferson an' that Roosevelt guy
To my knowledge there is just one man
That's really a truly American
That's George Lincoln Rockwell
I know for a fact he hates commies
'Cause he picketed the movie Exodus.
I finally started thinkin' straight
When i ran outa things to investigate
I couldn't imagine nothin' else
An' now i'm home investigatin' myself
Hope i don't find out too much
Good god!