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Intro: Conditional Discharge Lyrics

You know I remember a few years ago, some funny things used to happen
to me, about 1956-57. At that time, there was no blues scene or, uh, not
really any kind of scene in, uh, London. I used to go out and play my guitar
in the streets and sing things with a passin'the hat down uh , bars and a hat down. I remember one
particular night, I was uh, playing the guitar in a little alleyway just off of
Wardour street in Soho and uh, I got busted by the police. This policeman
came up and dragged me and my guitar and my hat full of pennies off to
the police station. Anyway, the next day I had to appear in Marlboro street
police court and uh, it was quite a day. Police officer giving his evidence:

"I was proceeding in a Southerly direction, milord, when I heard uh, strange
sounds coming from the Waldorf place, milord. A sort of boogie-woogie music
was being played. On further investigation, I saw the defendant standing there
with a guitar and an old hat on the floor collecting pennies. Well, I decided that
uh, he was contravening a breach of the peace, there as there was a traffic jam
about five miles long down on Waldorf street, wondering what all the uh, fuss was
about, so then I arrested the uh, defendant"
"Uh, just one moment, officer. Wh-what is this boogie-woogie music here we're
talking about?"
"Oh, well milord", said the officer, getting out his notebook, obviously been up
doing his homework, "it's a kind of jazz rhythm music peculiar to the American
negro"

"Oh. What was the defendant doing, uh, playing this kind of music there in
Waldorf street?"

Anyway, I got off with a caution, a year's conditional discharge, but I'll always
remember that policeman and his boogie-woogie, so don't try to lay no
boogie-woogie on the king of rock and roll.
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